Episode 154: Stand In Your PowerAug 19, 2021
Listen to the full episode HERE.
So much of our lives is taking steps to make other people comfortable while abandoning our true selves? Even if you are stubborn and strong minded like me, this can be the case, it is so easy to fall into this pattern. Today I want to dive into my believes around why this is so and how to break free of it and truly stand in your power.
Growing up I was one of three children in a very loving family. But just like any family, nothing is perfect. I was always taken care of and provided for, however my perception was and still is that I had to work, change myself and fit in a box to gain the love of one of my parents. All I have is my perception and my experience and how that formed my mindset and my future. I fully understand that others in my family may not feel the same way and I fully respect that…..we each had our own experiences. However, you will see as continue why this background was important.
I learned at a young age that love was conditional. If I was quiet, well behaved, kept to myself, I was lovable. But that wasn’t me. I have always been loud, outgoing, inquisitive, at times a bit demanding. I am fully aware of my flaws and my strengths and continue to learn more about myself each and every day.
So let us keep going, I learned at the core that my personality was flawed and I needed to adapt to be worthy of love…..which means I learned in my core that I was unworthy. Are you nodding along here? Does any of this sound familiar?
Now you go on to school and college and you are worried about fitting in, you fall in and out of love, your best friend from 3rd grade is in a different class in 4th grade and then all of a sudden they have a new best friend and this just feeds your belief that you are not worthy.
As we grow up this feeling of unworthiness is so engrained in us that we don’t trust our own thoughts, opinions choices half the time.
For me this all came to head when I was in a 9 year relationship that I know wasn’t healthy, but the patterning of trying to earn someones love was all I knew……so in an odd way that felt comfortable to me. So I stuck around and repeated this pattern.
I further engrained that my opinions were invalid, that I was not worthy, that I was not enough.
That is until I started shifting what I fed my mind, until I stopped watching TV and the news, started reading more books, working with mentors who helped me break free of my patterning and see my power. Until I surrounded myself with people who helped me feel worthy. Who helped me believe in myself and my dreams when I really couldn’t.
Unfortunately, most people don’t make it that far. Often times we tell are self things such as,
- Things are good enough!
- I have a home and a job, what do I have to complain about?
- I am not going to find better then this.
Honestly, we get so comfortable in what we know that we don’t even want to try and break free of this. Our opinions start to meld with the people around us and what we listen to instead of what we truly believe in our hearts and souls.
When I stand in my power and discuss my opinions and feelings on a situation, if I am in full alignment my heart space lights up, my voice is confident, I am confident.
When I discuss something where I not standing in my power, when I am conforming my opinion to make others feel comfortable, I feel closed off, my heart space feels dark. I am not honoring myself.
So how in the hell do we stand in our power? Honestly the first step is pretty simple, but also really hard.
- Clear your Mind
You need to clear the clutter! That is the clutter of other peoples opinions, the news, the busy noise all around you, everywhere you turn. Get comfortable being with your own damn thoughts. Spend some time each day in silence. No music, tv, people talking, anything. Just be with your thoughts, tune and see what your soul is telling you.
In the beginning it may really help to keep a journal handy and let the thoughts just pour out. No need to make sense of them or read them after, just get them out of your head.
- Make your own opinions and stick with them
Ask yourself some hard questions about what is important you, what brings you joy, what makes you feel full, what makes you feel empty, what is worth fight for?
For me, medical freedom is worth fighting for. No politician knows what is best for my body, honestly, no one but me knows what is best for my body and this is something I am passionate about fighting for. Now with that being said, this doesn’t mean I am think everyone should make the same decisions in reference to their medical decisions. That is exactly what I am against. We are all different and we all need to make different choices. So this leads me to the next step.
- Be ok with other peoples opinions.
As long as someones opinion is not harming you, then be at peace with it, just let it go. They have their opinion and you have yours. And if you truly stand in the power of your decisions their opinion will not matter.
- Set boundaries
What and who will you allow in your space both physically and emotionally? It is time to get clear on who respects you.
- Be a leader, not a victim
You are the only one in charge of your future. You reserve the right to change it at any given time and you have the power to change it. There is no requirement that you must be the same person tomorrow or next year that you are today. When someone tells me, ‘you changed,’ I say thank you :)
In reference to essential oils I lean into to stand in my power, I grab my,
- Bergamot: the oil of Self acceptance
- Spearmint: the oil of confident speech
For boundaries and protection from others opinions and daggers
- OnGuard: the oil of protection
- Tea Tree: The oil of energetic boundaries
Do you have questions or would you like to learn more about how you can incorporate essential oils into your life? Let's hop on a call! Use the link below to schedule a call.
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